JUDAS CARILLO

GOD'S FAVORITE

go back home?
You poor thing - Sweet, mourning lamb.
There's nothing you can do, It's already been done
OVERVIEW

NAME: judas carillo
NICKNAMES / ALIAS:jude, judy
AGE: 25 yrs old
OCCUPATION: attendent to his "god"
SPECIES: great fae / high elf (hybrid)
RACE / NATIONALITY: latino (???)
PLACE OF BIRTH: ???, alabama (somewhere deep in a longleaf pine forest...)
GENDER / PRNS : non-binary man (he/she/it)
ORIENTATION: ...??? (unsure)
HEIGHT: 7'7 / 231.14
BIRTHDAY: may 20th (supposedly)
PERSONALITY

LIKES: strawberry-flavored sweets & drinks, rainy overcast weather, cold metal, scavenger animals, concrete buildings, wildflowers, humidity, breaking into peoples homes and curling up in their beds.

DISLIKES: cold food, direct sunlight, loud sounds & being shouted at, artifical grape flavoring, people who explore abandoned buildings 'for no good reason', cars and other 'large, scary vehicles', sitting still in any capacity.

PERSONALITY: judas is a broken man, simply put. he is mentally weak and easily manipulated due to years of being abused into a state of obedience by one he believes is his one true god, the high flesh priestess. someone who he trusts with his life and believes was the one to save him, to give him a new, more promising life, when all she does is keep him in a constant state of paranoia and misery so that he'll latch onto her like a scared animal instead of venturing out into the real world and inevitably realizing what she is doing is hurting him.

he is deeply paranoid, and he is almost devoid of personality outside his devotion to his god; he's never had a real fighting chance to develop one outside of his obedience to her. his most formative years were spent learning to bow down and obey…and what other parts of him that do shine through paint the picture of a deeply troubled, insecure, and frightened individual. judas never had a chance to take up hobbies or engage in otherwise fun activities. It seems judas is stuck in a permanent state of fear and delusion, especially when his paranoia is so heavily reinforced every waking moment of his life.

though deep down, judas wants to, or even yearns to be a normal person. his faith in the high flesh priestess has been growing more shaky…

TRAITS OF NOTE:
  • really, really, loves sweets. especially jellies, slushies or smoothies.
  • does not bathe very often, if he does it's usually in a different place that isn't "home"
  • he often breaks into other people's homes to steal food, clothes, or to simply sleep in their beds. but in doing so, he realized how much he wanted to be a part of this whole 'society' thing, and he is very sad about it. thinking he will never have the chance.
  • eats meat from animal or human carcasses, even if they are rotting. he hates it, but it's what he has to do.

    • FAVORITE BANDS: hasn't had much of a chance to listen to enough music to pick a favorite.
    FAVORITE MUSIC GENRES: enjoys industrial dance music when he hears it from the outside of nightclubs.
    HOBBIES: watching the wildlife, breaking into buildings, cleaning his attenae.
    BODY & MIND

    MENTAL HEALTH: complex post traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD), obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), borderline personality disorder (BPD)

    PHYISCAL HEALTH: exhibits starvation-induced pica and malnutrtion.

    ADDICTION / MEDICATION: nothing of note.

    SYMPTOMS OF NOTE:
  • constantly seems to be twitching, fidgeting, or exhibiting some sort of nervous tic. cleans his antenna when nervous and rubs his hands together obsessively. especially when he is speaking.
  • extremely, extremely underweight and typically has a look of fear of varying degrees on his face at any given moment.
  • due to near-constant stress, he has been experiencing bouts of intense psychosis for a good while now. typically manifests as non-bizzare delusions of varying intensity and auditory hallucinations. but is always on edge as a result.
  • bruises and wounds easily due to being malnourished. always exhibiting some form of injury on his body at any given time.

    • MINI PLAYLIST
    i havent figured out how to make a music player just yet...
    DEATH IS THE FUTURE - SLEEP PARTY PEOPLE
    ERASER - NINE INCH NAILS
    I'M NOT HUMAN AT ALL - SLEEP PARTY PEOPLE
    PET - A PERFECT CIRCLE
    FUNNY FEELING - MEAT BEAT MANIFESTO
    tiny pride flags by cryptidf0lk on toyhouse
    !! CONTENT WARNINGS !!
    cults, suicide, abuse

    CHILDHOOD
    God loves you, but not enough to save you.

    judas was abandoned by his parents at birth, partly due to him being an accident from an extramarital affair and the other half due to his horrifying appearance…at least by high elf standards. he was tossed around many foster families during his early years, most of which could not accommodate a child such as himself, especially due to his size and his growing emotional distress. judas was not an angry child, but one with a deep-seated fear of the world around him. many did not care enough to accommodate him, which caused the fear to grow and fester.

    when he was a young teen, he ran away from home, and nobody bothered to look for him. he was not reported missing because it seemed nobody had a sentimental attachment to such a difficult, skittish child, and thus he practically fell off the face of the earth. slipping through the cracks as if he did not exist at all, most assuming he just crawled into a hole and died. much to their relief.
    ADOLESENCE
    Do you think you understand what it means to be loved? -
    You don't, and you never will.

    from that point onward, all that judas had was himself; he could not form meaningful relationships due to how poorly he was socialized during his crucial developmental years. constantly going from shelter to shelter and never properly finding himself a job or a home due to his incredibly fragile mental state. any form of stress caused him to panic and run away…he was hopeless, stuck at a dead end. he felt like he had no choice but to simply put an end to his own suffering.

    ...during his final attempt, finding himself far out in the everglades so that he may have a properly peaceful place to rot...something- someone heard his pleas for help…the high flesh priestess. an entity that tauted herself as a god, someone high and powerful that could lead judas towards salvation. extending her hand to him, almost like a guardian angel, she offered to give judas the life he deserved...
    ADULTHOOD / CURRENT
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son -
    One and the same I must isolate you. Isolate and save you from yourself.

    the high flesh priestess never has judas' best interest at heart. she could sense he was weak, broken, and vulnerable, and scooped him up to be her own personal judas goat, one to lure others right to her to their indoctrination and eventual death. he does not realize this, at least not for a long while. he had become wholly dependent on her and saw her as a mother he never had. her warmth (if you could call it that) was something he had never experienced before…

    he has become a lot more distrustful of her as of late, but he remains by her side. to him, the constant abuse is worth the warmth she gives, despite never giving him much in the first place.

    judas lives most of his life nowadays in a half-way state - one loyal to his "god" and the other yearning for the outside world. the more he ventures inwards into the cities surrounding the cult compound, the more interactions with normal people he has...the more the ache for a normal life eats away at him. he is unsure if he will ever escape, however. and he doesn't have to good of a feeling about it.

    !!...WIP...!!

    i still gotta make everyone else in the storys pages bruh.

    more to come later...
    MISC STUFF PAGE

    MISC FACTS
  • has a bit of a hard time speaking. a mix of stunted development and psychosis, he tends to stutter alot, use poor wording or even trail off and go on completeled unrelated tangents. he tends to mumble.
  • always making some sort of stranger chittering noises. produced by how he constantly is grinding his teeth and forcipules. when happy he chirps and squeals.
  • judas has a few friends "on the outside" that seem to care for him. they are probably one of the sole reasons he has not died.
  • extremely prone to intense night terrors, so much so he's attracted divine figures that are involved with the sleep realm that seem to take immense pity on him.
  • most if not all of his clothes are stolen. seems to have a taste for altnerative looking clothing.
  • has a fasination with abandoned buildings and junkyards. likes metal and concrete and anything made out of it.
  • when feelings unsafe, he likes to curl up underneath anywhere he can fit.
  • judas is highly capable of killing another personal easily, but is to afraid to do so.
  • sometimes stands outside of peoples houses and watches tv through their windows.
    • BIOLOGY

  • his saliva and mouth secretes faint traces of cyanide. this is seprate from his venom which is contained in his mouthparts. his venom contains A potent cocktail of toxins that could easily kill someone larger than him or cause tissue necrosis if bitten mildly. but he's to scared to do that unless really pushed.
  • has sticky pads on his hands, feet and addictional legs that allow him to climb on walls. if you shake or grab his hand to hard he may stick to you.
  • judas is a hypercarnivore and needs meat to sustain himself, though he eats trash and wild plants most of the time due to food scarcity.
  • if bitten or any of his meat/blood is consumed, its highly toxic and can cause cardiac arrest or respitory failure
    • i'll maybe add more to this later...