KASVI AO
Throwin' poison seeds into the wind - Make the poison tree to grow in me begin.
Let your branches fork my veins. Let your honey tide in me.
OVERVIEW
NAME: Kasvi Ao
NICKNAMES / ALIAS: Kas, Dove
AGE: 36 yrs old
OCCUPATION: school teacher
SPECIES: angel
RACE / NATIONALITY: asian (chinese/indian)
PLACE OF BIRTH: columbus, ohio
GENDER / PRNS : trans woman (she/her)
ORIENTATION: unlabeled / queer
HEIGHT: 5'11 / 180.34 cm
BIRTHDAY: december 10th
PERSONALITY
lives in a shotgun house by herself, she wants a pet very badly but is afraid she won't be a good enough owner.
theres nothing wrong with her other eye, she just keeps it covered because it makes her feel more secure during social situations.
she can't fly anymore and it bothers her immensely.
has a metric-fuck-ton on locks on every door and window in her house - just to be safe.
FAVORITE BANDS: cocteau twins, purity ring, grouper, wisp, fleetwood mac, bjork, vashti bunyan, and florence + the machine. (secretly loves metal - metalica, kittie, deftones and slipknot)
FAVORITE MUSIC GENRES: classical / shoegaze / dreampop / ambient music (secretly - nu metal / metal / gothic metal)
HOBBIES: reading, trying her best to get into writing, birdwatching, buying plants and accidently killing them.
BODY & MIND
chronic over-checker. will check things 10 times before she leaves. will make sure if her doors and windows are locked 10+ times. will be late for things because of her checking behavoir.
struggles very hard with overly-violent intrusive thoughts and compulsions - which make her very upset.
she is very hypervigilent, which can tie into her checking behavoir. will look through closets, pull back shower curtains, etc to make sure nothing is there. espeically if its a new enviornment.
she struggles with night terrors, and after she wakes up she refuses to go back to sleep so she will come to work exhuasted.
MINI PLAYLIST
i havent figured out how to make a music player just yet...
HOLOFERNES - GROUPER
SUNDAY MORNING - ETHEL CAIN
DOVE - ANTIHONEY
OBLIVION - GRIMES
HEY, WHO REALLY CARES? - LINDA PERHACS
tiny pride flags by l0stlights on toyhouse
Let your branches fork my veins. Let your honey tide in me.
OVERVIEW
NAME: Kasvi Ao
NICKNAMES / ALIAS: Kas, Dove
AGE: 36 yrs old
OCCUPATION: school teacher
SPECIES: angel
RACE / NATIONALITY: asian (chinese/indian)
PLACE OF BIRTH: columbus, ohio
GENDER / PRNS : trans woman (she/her)
ORIENTATION: unlabeled / queer
HEIGHT: 5'11 / 180.34 cm
BIRTHDAY: december 10th
PERSONALITY
LIKES: books, poetry and other forms of litterature, old buildings, peace and quiet, warm drinks like tea and coffee, autumn, birds (doves specfically), graveyards, old marble statues, lacey curtains and bedspreads, vintage furntiture, creepy-cute things.
DISLIKES: hot weather, water / the ocean, hospitals and emergency rooms, the dark, if it's to quiet, not being able to see the exit from where shes sitting/standing, doors with less than 2 locks, people who don't take reading seriously, audiobooks, candles that say that they smell like something but they don't, aggressive or overbearing people.
PERSONALITY: often described as gloomy by her peers due to how she carries herself, the cadence in which she speaks and how her face is always resting in a way that makes her look sad or tired. despite this she seems to have a rather cauciously-chipper air about her - though its clear that there is certainly a lot of things wrong with her just beneath the surface.
she tends to struggle a little bit with self confidence and asserting herself, espeically among people she admires. she's not particuallarly good at speaking whats on her mind either positive or negative and tends to really only keep to herself.
though its very clear she yearns for some sort of social life as she will often hinge her self worth on others perceived value of her and becomes emotionally dependent on others easily. she is rarely strict outside of her job as a schoolteacher.
kasvi is a recovering agoraphobe, left a shut-in after an attempt on her life left her disabled and mentally scarred. she is trying her hardest to get back out there but many of her paranoid behavoirs remain. as gentle and soft as she is, she harbors a growing anger towards the world that festers even more each time she sees or hears about anything violent that may be happening in the world that only makes her want to shut herself away more.
sometimes kasvi is drawn to self destructive behavoirs such as drinking to much or seeking out medication that was not perscribed to her to see if anything will quell the emptiness she feels inside of her. she is slowly becoming more and more of an adrenaline junkie and feels that when her heart races or her head spins it makes her remember she is alive.
kasvi is sometimes overwhelmed by the urge to hurt someone or something due to all the anger inside her, espeically the ones who have failed her. she belives this makes her a bad person, but she can't control these thoughts and she knows it.
FAVORITE BANDS: cocteau twins, purity ring, grouper, wisp, fleetwood mac, bjork, vashti bunyan, and florence + the machine. (secretly loves metal - metalica, kittie, deftones and slipknot)
FAVORITE MUSIC GENRES: classical / shoegaze / dreampop / ambient music (secretly - nu metal / metal / gothic metal)
HOBBIES: reading, trying her best to get into writing, birdwatching, buying plants and accidently killing them.
BODY & MIND
MENTAL HEALTH: post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), anxeity, agoraphobia and depression.
PHYISCAL HEALTH: arm is amputated just below the elbow as well as her wing being almost entirely unusable. otherwise she has no major health issues aside from heart issues from severe anxeity.
ADDICTION / MEDICATION: anxeity medication and occasional physical therapy if she can afford it.
MINI PLAYLIST
i havent figured out how to make a music player just yet...
HOLOFERNES - GROUPER
SUNDAY MORNING - ETHEL CAIN
DOVE - ANTIHONEY
OBLIVION - GRIMES
HEY, WHO REALLY CARES? - LINDA PERHACS
tiny pride flags by l0stlights on toyhouse
!! CONTENT WARNINGS !!
stalking, violence, death, terminal illness
CHILDHOOD
Hey now, who really cares - Hey, won't somebody listen.
Let me say what's been on my mind. Can I bring it out to you?
I need someone to talk to...And no one else would spare me the time
kasvi was born to a pair of upper middle-class angels who doted on her since the day she was born and she had a very large family who were similarly loving towards her. she had a very loving childhood, she can't recall any major traumatic events from when she was a girl...however that perfect sense of family was shattered when she was around 18-19 years old when her father was diagnosed with brain cancer. kasvi had never had to grapple with such mental distress and took it hard and didn't know how to cope and ended up isolating herself from her peers and barely passed highschool. she was a wreck on her graduation night, crying in the bathroom about how she didn't know how to go on with her father gone.
she barely had time to greive his diagnosis, as he died 2 months later in hospice due to the cancer being much more aggressive than the doctors let on. during her last visit with him, she promised him that she'd carry on with the career that she had always talked to him about wanting when she was younger - which was working in the education system. despite the crushing depression that came after her fathers passing she pereservered into going right into college right after highschool.
ADOLESENCE
I never walk about after dark, It's my point of view
'Cause someone could break your neck
Coming up behind you - Always coming and you'd never have a clue
as kasvi started attending college, she grew into a social butterfly of sorts. finding the pain of loss was lessened if she had a large social circle though it still didn't negate the emptiness she struggled with occasionaly. she made lots of friends and even had a few boyfriends here and there. she was very big into parties but rarely drank (something that made her a rare breed in her college at the time). though sometimes her social butterfly status got her into a bit of trouble when she'd end up getting involved with more shady people, however she'd like to think she was pretty good at reading other peoples intentions. (which she wasn't)
when she was just about ready to graduate, she got involved with another man who she split from after just around 2 months due to his massive array of red flags that popped up as their relationship progressed including obsession, isolation and verbally abusive behaviour. little did she know that after their breakup he became deeply infautated with her to the point of obsession and begane to relentlessly stalk her. After his obsession peaked, he attacked her in her college dorm in the middle of the night. the attack so brutal she lost a wing and an arm due to him being a large monster (an arachne, specfically), the other wing becoming non-functional due to trauma as well. she was thankfully found after her attacker fled the scene and the attack, while breif, caused so much noise the cops were called almost immedeietly, which resulted in her survival. however she was now heavily-injured and became deathly afraid of the world around her.
ADULTHOOD / CURRENT
Finding new life in the places you didn't know.
Sing a song to bring them back - Build the shape to call you home
Leave the doors all open.
kasvi remained cooped up inside for a good number of years, venturing out sometimes and even landed herself a job but would relapse often back into solitude due to stress or fear. only forcing herself to leave if she needed food or needed to go to the doctors office only if accompanied by a family member or a friend. though she was still supported by people around her - family, friends and even students with the hope she'd be able to recover. however no one really took the time to listen to her in depth which resulted in alot of feelings of lonliness and even sewed the seeds of resentment towards others at large as much as she hates to admit.
a good deal of fear left kasvi as her attacker was incarceriated for being a suspect in a string of murders that were all divinian women. he was barely prosectued for his attack on her due to him coming from a wealthy family and it seems after the incident he went on a rampage and she was the only victim of his to survive. however, her case was what put the final nail in his coffin as she identified him and he was sentanced to death. she was forced out of her home as she was involved with a long process dealing with authorities. her need to see her attacker finally persecuted came first before her fears. she was present for his exeuction.
though kasvi still deals with a good deal of anxeity and fears, she has commited herself to not succumbing to her agoraphobic urges as thats she doesn't water her attacker to have power over her any longer. she returned to teaching in person, she attends church and frequents the local library. and there she met a man named ikurou who she's become very fond of.
stalking, violence, death, terminal illness
CHILDHOOD
Hey now, who really cares - Hey, won't somebody listen.
Let me say what's been on my mind. Can I bring it out to you?
I need someone to talk to...And no one else would spare me the time
kasvi was born to a pair of upper middle-class angels who doted on her since the day she was born and she had a very large family who were similarly loving towards her. she had a very loving childhood, she can't recall any major traumatic events from when she was a girl...however that perfect sense of family was shattered when she was around 18-19 years old when her father was diagnosed with brain cancer. kasvi had never had to grapple with such mental distress and took it hard and didn't know how to cope and ended up isolating herself from her peers and barely passed highschool. she was a wreck on her graduation night, crying in the bathroom about how she didn't know how to go on with her father gone.
she barely had time to greive his diagnosis, as he died 2 months later in hospice due to the cancer being much more aggressive than the doctors let on. during her last visit with him, she promised him that she'd carry on with the career that she had always talked to him about wanting when she was younger - which was working in the education system. despite the crushing depression that came after her fathers passing she pereservered into going right into college right after highschool.
ADOLESENCE
I never walk about after dark, It's my point of view
'Cause someone could break your neck
Coming up behind you - Always coming and you'd never have a clue
as kasvi started attending college, she grew into a social butterfly of sorts. finding the pain of loss was lessened if she had a large social circle though it still didn't negate the emptiness she struggled with occasionaly. she made lots of friends and even had a few boyfriends here and there. she was very big into parties but rarely drank (something that made her a rare breed in her college at the time). though sometimes her social butterfly status got her into a bit of trouble when she'd end up getting involved with more shady people, however she'd like to think she was pretty good at reading other peoples intentions. (which she wasn't)
when she was just about ready to graduate, she got involved with another man who she split from after just around 2 months due to his massive array of red flags that popped up as their relationship progressed including obsession, isolation and verbally abusive behaviour. little did she know that after their breakup he became deeply infautated with her to the point of obsession and begane to relentlessly stalk her. After his obsession peaked, he attacked her in her college dorm in the middle of the night. the attack so brutal she lost a wing and an arm due to him being a large monster (an arachne, specfically), the other wing becoming non-functional due to trauma as well. she was thankfully found after her attacker fled the scene and the attack, while breif, caused so much noise the cops were called almost immedeietly, which resulted in her survival. however she was now heavily-injured and became deathly afraid of the world around her.
ADULTHOOD / CURRENT
Finding new life in the places you didn't know.
Sing a song to bring them back - Build the shape to call you home
Leave the doors all open.
kasvi remained cooped up inside for a good number of years, venturing out sometimes and even landed herself a job but would relapse often back into solitude due to stress or fear. only forcing herself to leave if she needed food or needed to go to the doctors office only if accompanied by a family member or a friend. though she was still supported by people around her - family, friends and even students with the hope she'd be able to recover. however no one really took the time to listen to her in depth which resulted in alot of feelings of lonliness and even sewed the seeds of resentment towards others at large as much as she hates to admit.
a good deal of fear left kasvi as her attacker was incarceriated for being a suspect in a string of murders that were all divinian women. he was barely prosectued for his attack on her due to him coming from a wealthy family and it seems after the incident he went on a rampage and she was the only victim of his to survive. however, her case was what put the final nail in his coffin as she identified him and he was sentanced to death. she was forced out of her home as she was involved with a long process dealing with authorities. her need to see her attacker finally persecuted came first before her fears. she was present for his exeuction.
though kasvi still deals with a good deal of anxeity and fears, she has commited herself to not succumbing to her agoraphobic urges as thats she doesn't water her attacker to have power over her any longer. she returned to teaching in person, she attends church and frequents the local library. and there she met a man named ikurou who she's become very fond of.
IKUROU STEELEBEST FRIEND / SITUATIONSHIP
kasvi is very fond of ikurou, and vice versa, however their relationships is extremely complicated. she has a very big crush on him and she knows he returns her feelings but she is to fearful to make the first move despite them sleeping with eachother often. she is worried she will burden him with her many issues and drag him down with her when he's already dealing with enough.
she knows he loves her uncondtionally both platonically and romantically, however she still struggles with doubt as her self confidence isn't the best.
ikurou is one of, if not the only, larger man she feels completely safe around and feels she can actually let her guard down around him. it feels good to be around someone who she views as 'just as messed up' as her and feels she can tell him anything relating to the darkest corners of her psyche and he wouldn't judge her. she only wants the best for him and she knows he wants the best for her too. she calls him at rehav often and makes sure hes okay as she finds herself getting worried about him even if she spoke to him just a day prior. and he often accompanies her to doctors appointments and helps her clean her house, or anything that requires physical strength.
ANNETTE VICARIOBEST FRIEND
meeting both annette and shrike after wandering upstairs after one of ikurou and hers 'one night stands' that have been going on for weeks, she and annette hit it off almost instantly. she sort of looks up to annette as an example of what someone who has it all together looks like, though annette rejects this notion saying shes just as fucked up kasvi, shes just gotten really good at hiding it.
the two care for eachother immensely and do things together almost every week, annette showing kasvi new, fun things and taking her to parties and clubs in an attempt to get her to finally make some friends outside of the 4 of them. annette has really showed her how to let loose and stop worrying about appearing as 'ladylike' all the time.
she knows how protective annette is over her and has to get an earfull of how to keep herself safe before every outing that may involve drinking or any sort of substance use. annette often begs kasvi to promise to not involve herself with horrible people and end up like her, and kasvi swears she wont. she knows exactly why annette tells her this and respects it.
being around annette also made kasvi realize she likes women.
SHRIKE VICARIOBEST FRIEND
shrike is someone who kasvi feels just a tad bit imtimidated by, at least at first. not because she feels unsafe around them, moreso due to their stoic nature and how they didn't talk much if at all when they first met. though gradually shrike opened up to her and they found they share a lot of common interests like books and psychological thriller movies, music and tv dramas.
kasvi finds shrikes presseance soothing due to their 'laid-back' nature and how they barely ever raise their voice or really do anything to put her on edge. they are a large contrast to how rowdy and unpredictable annette and ikurou are.
she feels they are the most qualified to offer her advice on how to readjust herself to the world given they experinced something similar. though they are very strict and clinical about it, which she certainly appreciates.
as of recent they have began going out together with just the two of them and kasvi finds herself viewing shrike a bit differently than she originally did. she admires their strength very much.
more to come later...
MISC STUFF PAGE
MISC FACTSshe is terrified of spiders, due to her attacker being an arachne.
wants tattoos very bad but is afraid they'll hurt and she'll wuss out.
has tried wearing a prosthetic in the past, however the one she had did not fit properly and now she doesn't have enough money to buy another as of now.
wants to dress in black more often. has the urge to dress a bit more alternatively but feels she doesn't have to right attitude to be 'truly alternative'.
buys lots of jeweley and other things with turqoisue in it because its what she considers her 'lucky gemstone'. she also just likes the color blue.
stuffs her pillows with her own loose feathers.
if she gets to nervous, she faints.
she's trying to learn how to play the synth. she can sing as well.
ikurou and annette got her hooker on metal music. now when shes frustrated she'll blast it full volume.
BIOLOGY
has to get things tailored to fit her wings through if they didn't have wing holes already. it's not very expensive, but she finds it annoying anyway.
feathers fluff up when she is flustered or angry, her wings will twitch when she is excited.
if she gets to excited she will flap her wings and sometimes she will hit people (most always ikurou) with them.
she has a very small, feather tail she usually keeps hidden because it makes her embarassed.
i'll maybe add more to this later...
MISC FACTS
BIOLOGY
i'll maybe add more to this later...
